When people think of traveling everyone’s mind– my own included– wanders to the stereotypical idea that traveling is a breezy path from one city to another, in endless luxury. While it is luxurious to an extent to be privileged as I am right now to do this, it’s also dirty and exhausting and draining on both your body and mind. It’s also pretty lonely. However, there is a certain beauty in this loneliness can seem to loom over you when you’re traveling.
A lot of your time spent traveling will be alone. Maybe you decided to travel totally alone, maybe you went somewhere with a big group, but everyone had a different sight they had to see so you ventured off on your own. There are many ways to be alone while you’re traveling, and it is incredibly important to take advantage of every single one of them.
The art of being alone isn’t one that’s generally talked about a lot in today’s day and age. Social media has come about in a way to convince ourselves, that even if we are sitting alone in our room watching Netflix all day that we aren’t alone because at the push of a button we can talk to anyone we choose. It’s a beautiful feeling though when you disconnect and are alone. My phone’s service doesn’t work here in France, and although I tried to get my unlocked phone to accept a French SIM card; it just wasn’t in my cards. Everyday I am without service from the time I leave my house to the time I return, and being disconnected has allowed me to truly experience my city. So many other students in my program’s group have gotten their new SIM cards and walk around town with their heads down, nose pressed to the screen, and it makes me so sad. Please don’t mistake this as a bash on social media, because I think it is wonderful in so many ways, but I also think that while we are studying abroad it’s best to disconnect a bit. A lot of these students I see with their noses in their phone are doing it to be avoidant; to act as if they will not experience culture shock or homesickness if they are still always communicating with home, and it’s probably true, but isn’t it better to be shocked because you’re truly living a different way than to pretend it isn’t happening because you’re cutting yourself off from the experience of it all? The beauty of being alone when you’re traveling is all of the life you get to experience when you aren’t distracted.
I started off small with my loneliness here; my first couple of weeks I was very anxious still about speaking, I hadn’t made a ton of friends yet, and I was really missing home. Luckily that fear drove me to spend more time out in the city, even alone. During that time I would often find myself sitting outside of cafés; drinking coffee, eating something local, or reading… and it was so refreshing to sit for a half an hour, an hour, or even a few hours just watching and listening.
I used to hate being alone. I always wanted to be surrounded by people. But now? I relish the small bits of time that I get to spend alone. I love going on a short trip by myself, knowing that I was the one who organized it, that I was the one who was responsible for myself. The new feeling of independence I’ve gained since being here is on an entirely different level than the minor feeling I gained when I first started University even; I am somewhere totally new and foreign and for once in my life, I am totally in control of who I am and where I want to go. That is the art of being alone. That feeling of independence, in a newfound confidence in the company of just yourself. I am the only person who will constantly be in my life, and if I can’t enjoy my relationship with myself then what’s the point?
It doesn’t matter if you’re traveling or not. Take the time to enjoy your time with yourself. Read a book, or go for a walk. Go on a date with yourself, get to know who you are. Take the time to be silent and reflect. In our growing world of being global and connected through the internet or the exceedingly available modes of travel; it’s still a good idea to disconnect from it all and just… be alone.
Traveling Ingénue 